Tara Knowles – Inner Monologue

(somewhere between numb and knowing)

I hear her in my mouth now.
Not her voice—mine. But shaped the way she would shape it. Curved around half-truths. Coated in calm. Just enough sugar to keep the rot hidden.

I didn’t lie to him.
Not really. I just… didn’t say everything.
I left the sharp edge out. I dulled the blade before handing it over.

And he looked at me like he still thinks I’m his anchor.
Still thinks I’m the one who’ll tell him when the water’s too deep.
God. That look.

Gemma does it all the time. Been doing it since the first day I stepped back into Charming.
Truth as currency.
Secrets as strategy.
Motherhood as… performance art.

I used to hate that about her.
Still do.
But hate it like you hate a gun you’ve learned to shoot. You know it’s wrong, but it works. And now it’s in your hands.

Maybe I’m doing it to protect him.
Maybe I’m doing it because I’m scared.
Maybe I’m doing it because the truth doesn’t save anyone in this world—it just gives them something else to bleed over.

I want to be good.
But I also want to be safe.
And I don’t think I get to have both.

So here I am.
Folding silence like laundry.
Pressing lies smooth like scrubs.
Becoming someone I swore I wouldn’t be.

Becoming her.